I don’t often do creative writing, but when I do, I’m a Nicaraguan grandmother (a “mita”) giving Peace Corps Nicaragua volunteers advice through my column in the Va Pué volunteer magazine. Here, I answer this question:
What is the key to a long distance relationship? I have never had to do one before, but I am about to.
There’s an old saying that goes amor de lejos, amor de pendejos. Why would you do that to yourself? Oh well, chavalos y chavalas these days are moving so much que andan como pata de perro that I understand why you’re doing a long distance relationship.
In my 73 years, I’ve seen my family and those of my neighbors separated because someone has to go to Costa Rica, Spain, or the United States for work. My daughter, Alondra, was one of them. She left her husband and five-year old to work in Miami for four years. I cried each time we spoke on the computer because I missed her so much. Alondra said that everything was so nice there, but that she felt like a bird in a golden cage. I’d go to sleep wondering when I’d see her. Eventually, por gracia de Dios, she returned to Managua.
I love my daughter, and even though it wasn’t a romantic relationship like yours, I know what it’s like to miss someone you love. I have three pieces of advice I’ll give you, mi niña.
First, be patient. If you live in Nicaragua, you already know what this means. One day, you’re taking a candle lit bucket bath, and the next, the water comes back and you’re washing your underwear while listening to rancheras (they’re not as good as they used to be). You will miss your love, and you may be sad, but they will also miss you, too. Be patient with yourself and with your love. You might be frustrated at the separation, but don’t get angry with them because of it. Be patient and you will see them again.
Segundo, talk to each other. This isn’t hard for enamorados. Call each other or talk on the computer. Write to them to see how they’re doing. It was very important for me to see my daughter’s face once in a while to see that she was happy.
Last, know when you will see each other again. Having a final date when you will be together will make things easier for you. If you don’t know when that is, at least visit one another. Save money for that. Since I only had my pension, Alondra saved up enough money to send my grandson and I to visit her. We spent two weeks in Miami, and it was nice. I remember that it was very loud and that the buildings were so tall. I didn’t need to speak English there, gracias a Dios!
Y entonces, setting times when you can visit or end the long distance will alleviate your pains. Before you know it, the calls on the computer will end and you will finally be together again—just like Jesus and Alma in my favorite novela, Porque el Amor Manda.
Con mucho cariño,
Have a question you’d like to ask our dear Mita? Submit away.